[Rick and Roll]

1) The players are on performance-enhancing drugs.
2) Most players would sell their kids before losing.
3) The players union is the anti-christ.
4) The owners are making money hand over fist but say they are not.
5) It costs about the same as a college education to go to a game.
6) The fans are secondary and not needed.
7) Too much attention is placed on the Yankees and the Cubs.
8) A batter must scratch at least 5 times per at bat.
9) Arguing every call is in the rules, and watching a snail fornicate is quicker and more exciting than most plays.
10) Fundementals, team play, and moving runners over went out with the dinosaurs.

That should clear it up!